The nature of female orgasm problems has changed as times have gone by. In the early days of sexual therapy, the major issue was  often not having an orgasm at all. Sometimes, though, it was about “having the right kind of orgasm” — as defined by Freud, that is to say — i.e. vaginal versus clitoral. (A debate which still rages….)

Nowadays it might be more accurate to say that the issues have moved away from anorgasmia to interest in female ejaculation during orgasm. 

Female Ejaculation

Even now, however, the triggers for orgasm are not fully understood, and neither are the reasons why some women find it very easy to have an orgasm and others find it difficult, or even impossible.

When it gets to squirting orgasms, the issues are even more complicated. Here’s what Cosmo says:

My best friend regularly obsesses about her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, who was a “squirter,” and therefore the real-life incarnate of many men’s fantasy partner. Porn has encouraged men to believe that when they’ve truly rocked a woman’s body, it starts doing an impression of the Bellagio Fountain in the second-to-last scene of Ocean’s Eleven.

The average woman, myself included, doesn’t know whether squirting is real or fake beyond your standard urban legends. Such as, “Ashley’s friend’s ex’s friend’s aunt’s babysitter’s college roommate squirts,” which does not count. So… I sleuthed with the help of a number of experts in order to solve the mystery. Ian Kerner, sexual health expert and The New York Times best selling author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring a Woman, says that involuntary squirting is the Loch Ness Monster of sex. In other words, an unverifiable legend.

One of the reasons for this confusion is undoubtedly the fact that in most cases there is a very large number of factors contributing to a woman’s psychological and physical ability to orgasm, and indeed  orgasmic ejaculation. These can include both anatomical factors and the sociocultural environment in which a woman was brought up and the one in which she currently lives.

And in addition, don’t forget the interpersonal issues around her relationship with her partner, and even the impact of drugs being taken for other medical conditions.

Sp where do we go from here?

The first thing is well, why might a woman want to learn how to ejaculate at the moment of orgasm? This link is perhaps one answer to the need for a deep orgasms in a woman’s sex life.

The Nature Of Orgasm

When you consider many women don’t have a sense of ownership over their bodies, and that their main focus during sex is to please their partner, the potential complexity of this issue becomes clear.

Let’s start by looking at the nature of orgasm.  (You can see information about the sexual response cycle here.) We know that physiologically, the entire body is involved in the female orgasm. There are between 5 and 30 rhythmic contractions in the uterus, the vagina, and the rectal sphincter, depending on the intensity of the experience.

But in addition, the muscles of the face, the abdomen, and other parts of the body may contract or spasm; and there are other physiological changes such as flushing of the skin and sweating.

Controversy still exists about the relative importance of the vagina, cervix, uterus and clitoris in promoting orgasm, which seems to be another factor why it’s difficult to define particular types of orgasm.

Women – why learn how to ejaculate at orgasm?

Orgasm problems – i.e the lack of orgasm – are the most common sexually reported problem in women. Studies have reported that  orgasm problems affect around 10% of all women. This is a very significant proportion of the female population who appear to be having difficulty in this respect. So let’s move on….

Primary and secondary anorgasmia in women

Primary anorgasmia means a woman has never had an orgasm, while secondary anorgasmia means that a woman has trouble reaching an orgasm in some circumstances . In other words,  orgasms may be infrequent, or they may occur only under certain specific conditions.

In this context it’s important to recall that very few women actually have an orgasm during intercourse due to male thrusting alone. Although statistics on this vary, maybe no more than 15% of the female population regularly achieves orgasm during intercourse. 

Read more from Deborah Sundahl on this:  

Body fluids are natural and even provocative… [in Tantric traditions] female ejaculate is considered a prize health tonic when rubbed into the body or drunk, invigorating and uplifting her male partner.

Who’s Squirting?

Of course, not all women are interested in ejaculating or “squirting” at the moment of orgasm. Yet the truth is that many people have been fascinated by squirting orgasms since they have been popularised on the internet. But where does the “gush” come from? What makes this liquid explode in a fountain? And what is it?

A team of French researchers which concluded that most of the liquid that comes out of the urethra when a woman “squirts” at the moment of orgasm is urine. Needless to say, other researchers who think the quality of this study was low, and sexuality activists who proclaim that the independent spirit of the female body lives on in the act of ejaculation, don’t agree! And, as you would expect, women who ejaculate also have a lot to say about the matter.

One view is that scientific studies are the product of the way in which the female body has been medicalized, and their own experience of sexuality denied. All of which may well be true.

So. There’s a long history of misinformation, confusion, and totally biased coverage of female ejaculation. For example, different studies have demonstrated that both 10% and 70% of women can ejaculate: you’d be right to think this is absurd. It seems that scientific studies are not telling us a great deal about female ejaculation, let alone how a woman can learn to squirt!

Video – Female Ejaculation!

Fortunately one intrepid authoress has investigated this very subject, and I’m going to report what she discovered. To start with, she makes the point that scientists and sex bloggers all agree that female ejaculation, aka squirting orgasms, is caused by G spot stimulation.  Some people claim that this is kind of prostatic fluid secreted by the Skenes glands, analogous to the prostate tissue in men, which are indeed located in this area and open into the female urethra.

Other people have a more down-to-earth or pragmatic view – they think that a woman is basically urinating when she ejaculates. However as the above video suggests, dramatic ejaculation we call “squirting” may just be forceful expulsion of something similar to urine.

Sure. Yet people obsess about the detail and want to understand it. Yet you never see an article headed something like “Five fabulous tips to make any woman feel really amazing when she comes.” Instead, you see things like “Five fabulous tips to make any woman squirt easily”.

Could it be that the excitement men feel around squirting is more about their satisfaction and pleasure than the woman’s?