FEMALE EJACULATION & THE G SPOT
ONE OF THE GREAT MYSTERIES OF FEMALE EJACULATION IS WHY SOME WOMEN CAN DO IT – AND SOME CAN’T…
And even when they’re doing everything that experts say is necessary for a woman to squirt, they still can’t do it.
But maybe this isn’t such a mystery after all! You see, the G spot seems to be a point where sexual and emotional wounding is held in the body. If you haven’t heard of the idea of cellular memory before, look at it this way: every unexpressed emotional trauma has energy behind it – and if it’s not verbalized or given expression in some other way, it goes into the body.
Even the smallest emotional wound, I believe, is held in the body perhaps as a little bit of tension in muscle fibers, or a slight disturbance to the metabolism of the tissues.
And there seem to be some places where the consequences of these emotional wounds are held more than others: nerve complexes such as the solar plexus and the G spot seem to fall into this category.
The consequence of every sexual and emotional wound a woman has experienced but not expressed or dealt with seems to be held in her G spot or pelvic area.
And that can include every act of unwanted but permitted sexual intercourse as well as the more obvious traumas such as sexual assault or abuse.
And as the emotional wounds accumulate over time it appears that the reponsivity of the G spot to sexual stimulation numbs out.
It’s like a defense mechanism where somebody who’s been abused in childhood cuts themselves off from their feelings and holds it in the body instead.
Female Ejaculation, Squirting, And G Spot Healing
There’s more to female ejaculation than shooting a stream of gorgeous feminine fluid as far as possible or having mind-blowing orgasms!
For G spot stimulation can help women discover the erotic potential of the female body, which has unlimited capacity to express motions such as love and intimacy as well as unlimited capacity for expressing sexual pleasure in orgasm after orgasm.
In other words, awakening the G spot and checking out its potential for female sexual pleasure is about validating the power of feminine energy and the female body.
On top of that, of course, it’s about validating each and every woman in her sexuality. So this is no minor thing we are dealing with here, and it needs treating seriously.
The G Spot Video
The G Spot Is a Gateway to Healing Sexual Trauma
So if that’s true, that explains why some women begin to feel pleasure from G spot stimulation and then suddenly are stopped dead in their tracks (as Deborah Sundahl puts it) by painful memories and events from their past.
Even if a woman is motivated to enjoy sex with her current partner, and wants to be open and trusting, she may find that the historical memory (even if she doesn’t actually consciously remember or feel them) of her previous experiences and prevent her from experiencing G spot arousal, female ejaculation, and whole-body orgasm.
Video Sexual Healing & G Spot Trauma
The statistics for sexual abuse of women are distressingly high. And even those who haven’t suffered overt sexual assault get messages from society which are unhelpful to a woman’s sexual self image. In this context you can think of the sexualization of women’s bodies in advertising, messages about the classic double standard (a whore in the bedroom and a Madonna outside it), or the cultural message that good girls cant be sluts.
On and on it goes: negative messages about female sexuality which represent in some way the dominance of the patriarchy in our history, and perhaps even in our society today.
So if the emotional scars of all of this are stored in the G spot and the other tissues of the pelvic region (and there’s plenty of evidence this is indeed so) then before any woman can learn how to squirt, she may well need to experience sexual healing.
What this means in practice is the reawakening of the G spot, and the healing of emotional and sexual scars.
How Is This to Happen?
First of all, over time the G spot tends to heal naturally, simply because of the healing energy that flows through intimacy, love and close emotional connection.
But that isn’t enough: to get the emotional wounds, or the consequences of the wounds, out of the tissues of the body, it’s necessary to give the G spot a little conscious and intentional assistance.
And one way to do this is a G spot massage.
Please understand that in the context of what were discussing, even forcibly offering a G spot massage, or putting any pressure on a woman to accept it, before she is emotionally open and safe enough to do so without feeling uncomfortable or scared, can in itself be yet another emotional wound.
This is delicate work, and needs to be handled sensitively.
It needs to be done when a woman is ready for it to be done. Make no mistake about it – this is the passport to the merging of sex and love. (That’s a statement which those who have always kept them separate will understand better than those who haven’t.)
For to merge sex and love into one intimate embrace is one of the most powerful experiences that a human being can experience. This is where hearts meet. This is work that needs the deepest respect.
But you need to be prepared for the release of the emotions associated with the trauma stored in the G spot when healing begins. It’s pretty obvious, I think, that the release of these emotions, whatever form it may take, is necessary for complete healing.
But it;s a bit like the power of the atom: you can’t imagine that such energy could be stored in something so small.
And there’s no way of knowing what may emerge during G spot healing – it ranges all the way from hysterical laughter and joyous giggling through to intense range.
Deborah Sundahl speaks of experiencing the deepest sense of utter devastation she had ever felt in her life after a G spot massage which then actually took her to orgasm.
How do you cope with this? Well, being prepared for this can allow the energy to flow through you while you psychologically stand, metaphorically at least, to one side and observe it.
You won’t die, and in one sense release of emotional trauma isn’t even painful: it’s simply an experience from which you can maintain your distance with the conscious knowledge that its the consequence of events which occurred long ago in your history.
Giving a G Spot Massage
For the person who is the giver, the massager, the one who is giving a woman her G spot massage, the most important thing is not to take these emotions personally.
As soon as you do that, you’re into a dynamic about your current relationship, and that has the potential to be very destructive.
Yet when you feel your female partner raging, projecting her anger at some historical event onto you, her current, no doubt much loved, partner, it can be a challenge.
And overcoming the challenge of NOT taking this personally is very necessary. Protecting yourself from the emotional storm is also very necessary. Put in place any psychic shield techniques that you know of: an effective one is to imagine yourself in a cocoon of golden light shimmering all around you like a protective bubble in which you are safe from your partners projections.
You can imagine all of the emotional energy she release hitting the bubble, and, no matter what it is, being transformed into positive energy and reflected back out into the universe.
So: you might now be wondering whether it’s actually worth experimenting with G spot healing!
But let me tell you something: if you want to go deeper, and you want to experience the most profound level of intimacy and connection, then yes, it really is worth going through the early stages of sexual healing.
And that’s true whether or not you want to make a woman squirt.
Sure, not all G spot healing sessions go this deep. Indeed, they don’t need to go that deep to have a profound impact.
And its actually possible to avoid stepping into the trauma if you choose to do so.
Avoiding the Trauma of G Spot Healing
To start with, most women need to be sexually aroused to some degree before they can accept a finger on their G spot. And that may take time: which is often the enemy of men’s patience, men being naturally programmed to do things quickly, particularly around sex.
But slow and gentle are the watchwords here: a sensitive and caring G spot massage is what is needed.
So when the woman is ready, and only when the woman is ready, the man or woman offering the G spot massage can insert his finger into her vagina and find her G spot.
If she is sufficiently aroused, it will feel smooth, perhaps like it has little grapes under the surface: if shes not aroused, it’ll feel ridgy and hard to the touch.
In which case, more sexual arousal is needed, perhaps by means of gentle clitoral stimulation, but more likely with intimate touch and close connection and loving touch on the whole of the woman’s body.
Female anatomy location of the G spot
So as a couple do this, it’s better that they are connected energetically and emotionally.
Eye gazing is a particularly good way to build and maintain connection, although a woman may find it difficult to maintain such connection when she begins to experience feelings coming up.
(And indeed, in this context, anyone’s ability to maintain eye contact for prolonged periods of time is a good guide to how comfortable they are with intimate connection).
Assuming that all of these prerequisites are met, the person giving the G spot massage can begin to move his or her finger over the recipient’s G spot, responding to her feedback as he or she goes.
There are different ways of moving the finger and they may produce different responses: a kind of windscreen wiper movement from side to side; a backwards and forward motion with the pad of a crooked finger; squeezing or rolling with one finger on each side of the G spot tissue; and simply pressing in a place which is sensitive until the sensitivity diminishes.
Up Come The Feelings!
As the G Spot massage continues, a woman is going to feel all kinds of things, from joy to rage. And more subtle things too, like an undercurrent of abandonment or loss… It’s impossible to know what will happen.
But when the massager hits a sensitive spot, the recipient may only be able to take a limited amount of massage in each session.
That means healing becomes a cumulative process. At difficult moments, it’s certainly possible for a woman to breathe out through the trauma as the massager maintains the right degree of pressure on the sensitive spot, so that the pain and the emotional memories gradually fade.
Remember that the objective of this exercise is to allow energy to flow again: whenever energy hits a block, it stops. When the block gets released, energy moves again.
Interestingly enough, it seems that one of the reasons why women become bitchy, or nagging, or frustrated is because feminine energy is blocked.
Perhaps, if they were able to express the feeling behind those behaviors, the behaviors would fade away.
But a block on sexual energy is responsible for the distorted expression of feminine energy. In other words, when love can’t flow, is it replaced by the shadow energy of anger or irritation or frustration – which appears in a behaviour of nagging, being bitchy, or some other unattractive quality.
Remember that the wounds that you’re dealing with in giving a G spot massage can be as delicate as a woman having sex when she doesn’t want to, or when a woman gives way to heavy persuasion to have sex, but she’d rather say no.
While she is receiving the G spot massage, it’s important that the woman verbalizes her emotions, or makes noise to discharge the feelings and trauma.
Encouragement from the massager may be necessary here, because some women will be inhibited about expressing the noises that naturally go with their emotional wounds.
And gentle encouragement to breathe into a sound, or to allow a sound to be in her throat can be sufficient to encourage a woman to express herself, and thereby discharge the residue of emotional wounds.
If the man or woman giving the massage joins in with the sounds, this can encourage the receiver to voice her own feelings.
So there’s a lot of work to be done here, but the rewards are usually worthwhile. Not only is female ejaculation fun, and making a woman squirt a load of fun for woman and partner alike, but G spot orgasm is a profoundly emotional experience which can lead a woman to greater connection and intimacy with her partner.
G SPOT HEALING PART 2
Guidelines for G Spot Healing Sessions
Of course, not all G spot healing sessions need to go really deep or will generate profound memories of trauma. In fact, it’s probably better if they don’t unless the woman concerned is emotionally aware and emotionally intelligent.
In any event, when difficult feelings come up it might be necessary for a woman to ground herself: that might be something as simple as acknowledging her emotions by giving vent to them, or it might be expressing herself in some creative way – dance, music, drawing, planting her feet on the earth.
And if she needs to be alone, then it’s important that she protects her desires to be alone and maintains her boundaries.
Deep and rhythmic breathing can also help in bringing a woman back to the present and grounding her in the current reality.
The experience of panic, should it arise, can be controlled by connecting with the earth or with a partner.
And no matter what happens, everything will be OK.
The Benefits Of G Spot Massage
Hopefully what you’ll get out of a G spot massage is a deep sense of connection to your partner and the experience of his or her love.
But be prepared for unexpected things to come up: Deborah Sundahl talks of how she experienced the grief around the devastating loss of her sister in childhood.
The emotional devastation and profound feelings that she felt after her death were clearly suppressed, but she was still surprised to find that these emotions were stored in a part of her body so intimately connected to sexuality.
That may be closely related to the fact that she’d lived a life in which love and sex were separated – at least until she received G spot healing.
Here’s the location of the G Spot
Sidebar: A Partner May Not Be Needed By the way, you can do self-healing work on your G spot with a crystal wand, a massage tool designed to reach into the vagina and massage the G spot easily. If you do this, you can visualize an imaginary partner: God, the embodiment of love, or whatever suits you
But when you do this, take the time to relax into the experience, make sure that you won’t be disturbed or interrupted, and that you can really commit to giving yourself the space and time to undergo whatever healing is going to flow through you at this point on your journey.
G Spot Healing: The Reality
For women brave enough to embark on the route of G spot healing, the rewards can be profound, not only in being able to give and receive love more freely, but in a deepening sense of well-being and self esteem.
And, of course, reaching a much more intense and profound level of sexual pleasure and experience of femininity.
Sidebar: Pelvic Floor Tissues Hold Tension And Trauma As Well As The G Spot
The G Spot Massage Itself
So you’re probably going to be better off if you have a partner, even though you can do some G Spot massage yourself.
That’s because a partner will provide you with a touchstone, a rock, a point of safety and security.
If he or she is confident, a partner can facilitate you in reaching the emotional experience you need to have, and they can even guide the process for you.
Besides which, if you work with a real-life partner, there are other benefits to be experienced: the re-establishment of trust, for example.
When You Receive A G Spot Massage
So as a receiver of G spot massage you need to allow your sensations and emotions to flow, and you need to feedback what you’re feeling and experiencing to the person giving you the massage.
It follows that this work needs to be done in the space of emotional clarity and connection. In other words, if you’re feeling a charge of anger or fear towards your partner, you need to clear or discharge that in some way before you get started – otherwise this isn’t going to work.
Yet to open up to your feelings you need to allow the process to take place and be open to whatever happens as the healing session proceeds.
The massager needs to follow instructions, in other words to do what the receiver requests – that’s the primary role of the person giving the massage, in fact.
For women who are not used to asserting themselves or getting what they want, it’s important that they’re aware this is their time and space.
You need to ask for what you want, not only in terms of the massage itself, but in terms of whatever it is that you need to feel comfortable in the space.
(And clearly, the massager needs to be ready to receive those requests gracefully and fulfill them without grumbling or irritation.)
And the G spot massage needs to happen with intention: in other words, you need to open yourself to the principle of whats happening, to the idea of receiving pleasure, and certainly to the concept of trusting the person who’s giving you the massage.
You need to maintain eye contact with the person giving you the massage, and remember to breathe and relax as you experience the feelings associated with G spot stimulation.
And finally, and very importantly, you need to communicate exactly what it is that you’re feeling and how you want to be touched. That might include other areas in your body apart from G spot.
Entering into such a sensual and profound experience requires you to feel comfortable and relaxed.
But you’re a woman, and you are a sensual creature – deep in your genes is the knowledge that will allow you to open up to sexual energy, and perhaps even to let your body become one entire sexual organ, alive with sensual awareness and pleasure.
To reiterate the supporter’s role, that is to say, the person giving the massage:
- You must provide a comfortable and safe environment without distractions.
- You must have sufficient time and energy to focus exclusively on your partner for the duration of the G spot massage.
- You need to give completely and freely of yourself without resentment or irritation, or thinking you know better than she does about what it is she needs.
- You must listen to and acknowledge the feedback that she gives without interpreting, commenting, and trying to fix her by offering solutions. Those are not required.
- You need to remind her to breathe as the massage proceeds, and you must remember to ask her if she wants to be touched elsewhere on her body than the G spot.
So all that assumed, the G spot massage can go ahead.
When she’s aroused enough (this might help here), by touching, intimate connection, eye gazing, slow breathing, you can gently slide a very well lubed finger into a very well lubed vagina. Her natural lubrication is probably not going to be sufficient.
While her supporter or companion massages her G spot, the woman who is receiving it can speak about her physical sensations. She can breathe through any uncomfortable (or any pleasurable) feelings she receives, letting go and clearing her mind as an adjunct to the process of allowing her emotions to arise from their repressed state.
And if there is very sensitive area, or a very insensitive area, consider if it needs a particular kind of attention?
Here, the massager needs to listen carefully to what the recipient of the massage is saying, and should then apply slow circular motions to any area which is either insensitive or numb or painful. Try this general guide to Yoni and G spot massage for some ideas.
You see, the thing is that painful areas represent the location of emotional blocks in the nervous system.
By combining firm touch from the pad of the finger on the sensitive areas, with verbal communication about the feelings that are coming up, G Spot sensitivity can be restored.
Steady firm pressure is probably required, while the couple maintain eye contact and breathe slowly and deeply together.
There may be a temptation for the receiver to escape from the sensations or memories or feelings that are coming up. However, it’s much better from the point of view of G spot healing to stay with the experience, and to report on it. A good format is: I’m feeling something like rage and sadness, and it seems to be related to my memories of…. But whatever arises spontaneously is perfectly fine in every way.
If the the woman receiving the G spot massage doesn’t feel anything, then circular motions can be replaced with firm pressure all around the G spot.
And beware of distractions such as the receiver saying “There’s no point, I want to stop, I feel ridiculous or silly.” These are most likely not to do with the situation now: they are most likely to do with some historical situation, which is the very reason the G spot massage is taking place.
If pressure on the G spot becomes painful, then the massager can release the pressure of his or her finger somewhat, but for healing to take place the recipient needs to stay with the pain, and breathe into and through it.
The pain in the G spot is only a metaphor for the emotional pain that a woman has never expressed in her lifetime.
Having said all of that, it’s important that if the woman receiving the massage really does want to stop, then the massage must come to an end: this resistance could well signify the fact that she is not yet ready to face whatever painful memories are stored in her G spot.
The time will come when she is able to face them, but doing this kind of work before its time has arrived can be counterproductive.
One important thing to note is that when pressure on an area reduces pain or discomfort initially, and then transforms into a feeling of heat, this probably means something is being released, and the recipient may begin to feel some pleasurable sensations.
And of course it’s not necessary to massage the G spot to the point where a woman has an orgasm. Just working through the old emotional blocks is massive progress. And if a woman does want a massage to orgasm (which may or may not happen) then of course the giver of the massage should follow her wishes.
And if the man or woman giving the G spot massage is actually her sexual partner, then the woman may feel that she wants intercourse.
Provided that the supporter is willing and able to provide this, then penetration can proceed.
But again it’s important that the recipient dictates every aspect of what happens, and that the couple maintain eye contact and keep verbalizing and breathing as they become more intimately connected.
And for a man, ejaculation control can be important here, because it will allow him to massage his partners G spot with his penis – a profoundly intimate connection between man and woman.
In the end, each experience will be different and unique. But whatever happens, this is the art of sexual healing.
Video Sarah Connor Sexual Healing
THE SCIENCE OF FEMALE EJACULATION
To understand female ejaculation – as seen in the phenomenon known as squirting orgasms – one has to go to reliable scientific writers.
Even the scientific experiments which have been done on the subject have numerous flaws – small sample size, dubious techniques, experimenter’s bias… That kind of thing.
But happily there is a useful article in the Scientific American blog which explores the question of female ejaculation in a humorous but, well, sort-of-scientific way.
Squirting Is Believing
What can it tell us about this most mysterious of sexual phenomena?
Quite a lot, actually. The author starts by referring to a review in the Journal Sexual Medicine History, where urologist Joanna Korda and colleagues looked through historical texts since the fourth century, and found numerous references to what was undoubtedly female ejaculation.
Sidebar: There are two fluids which seem to be confused in female ejaculation….the first is what has become known as gushing or squirting orgasms, which produce a watery clear liquid which seems to come from the urethra and is not normal urine. And there is also a viscous, creamy liquid, which may come from the paraurethral glands. The first of these is shown below.
History Of Female Ejaculation
To take only one example, the Kama Sutra in ancient India speaks of “female semen” that discharges continuously.
The first scientific account of female ejaculation was presented between 1650 and 1700 by a Dutch gynecologist. He distinguished between the vaginal lubrication as an aid to sexual intercourse, and female ejaculation, which he described as “clearly not designed to moisten the urethra”.
And he was dead right in observing that the ducts from which this fluid emerges are open near the urethra. If you have ever seen a woman enjoying one or more squirting orgasms at close quarters, you’ll know what I mean!
In modern times, it was 1952 before against Ernst Grafenberg discovered what he described as an erotic zone inside the vagina, on the anterior wall – the famous G spot.
He wrote an article on this, which was headed “The role of the urethra in female orgasm”, a reference to the fact that the G spot is actually composed of tissue which surrounds the vagina and the urethra.
Grafenberg studied women as they were masturbating, and noticed that some had gushes of fluid emerging from their urethra at the point of orgasm. Presumably he was one of the first scientists to witness the phenomenon of squirting orgasms at close quarters.
The inevitable conclusion of this is that this fluid must somehow be about sexual pleasure rather than lubrication, otherwise the fluid would emerge earlier during sexual stimulation.
Grafenberg analysed the fluid and found that it wasn’t urine – and he concluded that it was actually secretions from the paraurethral glands which are part of the tissue making up the G spot during sexual arousal.
Bear in mind that most women who are capable of squirting orgasms (and of course that might be all women) ejaculate talk of producing copious amounts of fluid, using expressions like “soaking the bed”.
How can it be that even after so many anecdotal accounts from so many women, the nature and composition of female ejaculatory fluid is still not fully understood?
That’s a really pertinent question, particularly in view of the fact that every study that’s been done has found a distinction between typical urine composition and the composition of female ejaculatory fluid.
One reason for the lack of clarity is that urine is not completely absent from female ejaculatory fluid produced during a gushing or squirting orgasm. Yet there are contrasting reports from women who ejaculate, which broadly fall into two categories: thick viscous creamy liquid, and a watery, odourless and colourless liquid.
Two Kinds Of Ejaculate?
So it would seem that there are two kinds of female ejaculation. This fits the idea of the prostatic type tissue around the female urethra producing a fluid which resembles the composition of semen (without the sperm, of course). And also with the idea of another fluid which seems to have some relationship to the bladder and is discharged through the urethra.
Women who enjoy gushing, and experience it frequently, tend to be both adamant about the reality of it, and fervent in their description of the fluid they discharge.
Other women speak of just a small amount of fluid, thicker more viscous and creamy fluid being ejaculated.
The answer? Well, it’s hardly possible to take women into a laboratory and examine the composition and nature of female ejaculatory fluid under scientific conditions.
For one thing, women need to be very aroused to ejaculate and this is quite difficult to achieve in a laboratory.
One thing we can say with certainty is that female ejaculate is not pure urine. Even women who empty their bladders before sex may ejaculate large quantities of fluid.
Other characteristics of female ejaculation which seem to occur time and time again are:
- the infrequent nature of the phenomenon – most female ejaculators don’t ejaculate every time they reach orgasm.
- the fact that often women are surprised when their first experience of female ejaculation happens.
- the certainty is that female ejaculation is linked to high levels of arousal
- often women also speak of feeling safe and secure and trusting with their partner. Another expression they commonly use is “relaxing into the experience”.
As time goes by, women who might have been surprised by their first ejaculation seem to move from a position of surprise and shock, possibly believing that it’s urine, to a position of enjoying it and finding squirting or ejaculation empowering and enhancing their sex life.
Squirting orgasms can be a source of shame to woman who does not understand the nature of what’s happening, because she might think she’s urinating.
But after realizing that this is actually a common, if not exactly run-of-the-mill, experience, women often come to see ejaculation as an important part of their sex lives.
The Wider Debate About Ejaculation
In trying to understand female ejaculation a little better, it’s important to refer back to the first paper by Grafenberg, in which he states:
If there is the opportunity to observe the orgasm of such women, one can see that large quantities of a clear transparent fluid are expelled not from the vulva, but out of the urethra in gushes. At first I thought that the bladder sphincter had become defective by the intensity of the orgasm. Involuntary expulsion of urine is reported in sex literature. In the cases observed by us, the fluid was examined and it had no urinary character. I am inclined to believe that “urine” reported to be expelled during female orgasm is not urine, but only secretions of the intraurethral glands correlated with the erotogenic zone along the urethra in the anterior vaginal wall. Moreover the profuse secretions coming out with the orgasm have no lubricating significance, otherwise they would be produced at the beginning of intercourse and not at the peak of orgasm.
Regrettably this paper had little impact on research into female ejaculation or what people thought about squirting orgasms, because “experts” like Masters and Johnson said that Grafenberg was wrong, and simply dismissed the phenomenon as stress incontinence at the moment of orgasm.
It was only the work of Helen Connell, who started analyzing the anatomical structures of the female genitals in 1988 that started to give a scientific base to the possibility of ejaculation.
She observed that the urethra is embedded by erectile tissue in almost all orientations as it runs alongside the side of the vagina.
This tissue, the paraurethral glands, resembles the male prostate gland. That in itself does probably not explain the phenomenon of squirting or gushing clear liquid in large quantities. In fact this tissue seems to produce a thick, white and viscous liquid in comparatively small quantities.
Scientific studies have demonstrated that the liquid produced during a squirting orgasm, wherever it comes from, is not urine, although it does have some of the chemical characteristics of urine.
One of the critical factors in distinguishing between what we call gushing or squirting orgasms on the one hand and female ejaculation originating in the prostatic tissue on the other – if indeed they are different – is the volume of liquid produced.
The quantity of paraurethral tissue is not great, as you might expect, just as male prostatic tissue is limited in volume.
Male ejaculation is limited in volume to around 20 ml at the most. It would seem intuitively unlikely that the paraurethral tissue or Skene’s glands in women could produce any more.
What’s Wrong With Squirting Orgasms?
Even though loads of women are ejaculating, there is an ongoing debate about the existence of female ejaculation, the composition of the liquid emitted, and how it relates to female sexuality.
Obviously Internet porn has played a major part in popularizing the concept of gushing or squirting orgasms – so much so that this is becoming confused with the general concept of female ejaculation in the minds of the broader public.
Historically, female ejaculation has been viewed through a mostly male perspective, and so possibly distorted by male fantasies about female ejaculation.
But as far as many people are concerned, the unifying feature of most writing on female ejaculation is the fact that stimulation of the G spot results in the forcible emission of large quantities of fluid at the moment of orgasm – squirting orgasms, in other words.
While some on the side of female ejaculation support the idea that the prostatic tissue could produce this ejaculatory fluid, others simply dismiss this by saying that women are mistaking the fluid emitted at orgasm for either vaginal lubrication or urinary stress incontinence.
This is really unhelpful: Shannon Bell has observed that the dismissal of women’s experience for the want of scientific proof is typical of male doctors who over the centuries have denied the validity of the female sexual experience.
In short, men have tended to disregard, reinterpret and overwrite women’s descriptions of female ejaculation.
And perhaps their sexual pleasure, too, because, at the end of the day, this is all about female pleasure during sex.
Some of the most educated and expansive female writers on the subject have suggested that the way to challenge bigotry on both sides of the debate is to regard the clitoris, vagina and urethra as a single sexual organ.
And what’s wrong with that? For women who experience sexual pleasure from the stimulation of the urethral opening and the tissue surrounding the urethra, this might well be a simple and straightforward way of accepting that female sexual pleasure can be experienced in a variety of ways.
THE TRUTH ABOUT FEMALE EJACULATION
A really interesting question is why anybody would want to experience female ejaculation.
After all, you might say, aren’t we all built to have sex in a certain way – men penetrate women, men ejaculate, then men bring women to orgasm ….. is the way sex often works.
And in any case, women aren’t built to ejaculate in the way that men are – it goes against the natural order of things… Or so some people might say.
The truth the matter is that if you move away from the idea that ejaculation is linked to male climax, you might find it possible to accept the idea that female ejaculation is also completely normal.
Understanding Female Ejaculation
Sure, female ejaculation is shrouded in mystery, to both men and women alike. A situation that’s not been helped by the fact that scientists can’t even agree if such a thing exists or not, and if it does, what form it takes.
For example, we know that there is tissue surrounding the urethra in women that resembles prostatic tissue in men, but nobody is sure whether or not the liquid produced by this tissue is a thick creamy material which dribbles out of some women’s urethras at the point of orgasm, or whether it’s a thin clear fluid which has very slight similarities to urine, which can be ejaculated with real force.
This is all very confusing. Somebody’s even suggested that young people may think that female ejaculation is just a stunt invented by the porn industry.
Video – Squirting.
Where does the truth lie?
One woman who’s been investigating female ejaculation for a very long time as Deborah Sundahl, who is basically sex educators worked in the field female ejaculation and understanding the G spot for many years.
And of course there are still plenty of people who claim the G spot doesn’t really exist, that it’s a constructed male sexual fantasy, and that not all women have one. Reality: it produces fluid which can be expelled forcibly during gushing or squirting, in what has become known as a a squirting orgasm.
Again, the truth is the G spot is recognized as a genuine “functioning female organ” (as Deborah Sundahl puts it), and in anatomical and medical circles it’s known as “the female prostate”.
Furthermore, for any woman who’s experienced G spot orgasm there’s no question about the reality of this – or that this tissue forms a vital part of female sexuality.
When you think about the way the G spot is often described – as an area of tissue that needs to be sensitized before it can feel sexual pleasure – it’s no surprise that women who don’t experience G spot orgasms might wish to deny its existence, because the very acceptance of the concept somehow puts them into a “second-class” group of women who can’t orgasm in this apparently really special way!
However, Deborah Sundahl’s approach is rather different – she just simply encourages all women to accept the reality of the G spot and tells them they are all capable of learning how to ejaculate.
So what’s necessary, then, for women to achieve female ejaculation?
First of all, to learn where the prostate gland, the female prostate gland that is, is located in the body. The second step is to increase your own awareness of its sensitivity and discover how it may be stimulated by sexual desire and/or physically with a finger or penis (or of course, vibrator).
Gradually this will lead to an awareness of the ejaculatory fluid which can build inside the body, and of course, in the end, the final stage of learning to female ejaculate is the confidence to release this fluid. Perhaps delicately, perhaps forcibly in a squirting or gushing orgasm. Read more about female ejaculation here. And see it on videos.
It’s an interesting thing that medical science rejects female ejaculation as a construct of the imagination, because it’s been around for generations – Aristotle talked about it, Tantrikas talk about it, and Amrita or the nectar of the gods has been known for a very long time… And so it goes on…
Yet women can begin to doubt themselves very easily when it comes to sexual matters, especially when men are saying something that women know to be real doesn’t actually exist.
So to reiterate, the G spot or female prostate can be felt through the upper wall of the vagina as a woman lies on her back.
But because this area of tissue surrounds the urethra, which emerges above the vagina in the urethral meatus, there is often confusion that the fluid released during female ejaculation consist of urine. But the fluid released is anything but urine.
Deborah Sundahl talks of asking roomfulls of women talking about sexuality how many stop in the middle of lovemaking to go to the bathroom. She says about 30% consistently raise their hands and say they’ve done this.
Obviously these women think they’re having to pee during lovemaking. Then she asks how many women have to go to pee immediately after they’ve finished making love, another 30% raise their hands.
She says that these women don’t know they have a build up of ejaculate, they think it’s pee, so they hold it back, clenching their muscles to hold it in, and of course they’re not only spoiling sex, but they’re failing to experience the excitement of female ejaculation, gushing or squirting orgasms.
Of course this is understandable: women are educated from a very early age as young girls to be clean and nice.
The idea that female ejaculation might involve the release of urine – or indeed the release of any other bodily fluid – might be one of the reasons why so few women seem to be able to experience it in a relaxed joyful way.
Keep in mind this is nothing to do with golden showers or watersports! Of course if you want to continue believing that the fluid which women expel during female ejaculation is urine, go ahead. But if you want to explore the new aspects of your sexuality, please take on board the fact that female ejaculatory fluid is mostly prostatic fluid with a little bit of glucose and tiny amounts of urine from the urethra.
This fluid is very clear, it doesn’t smell or taste like urine, and it won’t stain your sheets (which urine will do).
One of the other myths that goes along with female ejaculation is that the vast majority of women need clitoral stimulation before they can reach orgasm. But this is not true. Women don’t require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, they rely on it – because they have not discovered how to reach orgasm through G spot stimulation.
But that isn’t because they’re incapable of doing so: it’s because they don’t know that they can do it, or how to do it.
For many women the ideal form of orgasm is that produced by combined clitoral and G spot stimulation.
And that’s a useful approach because it gets away from the black or white, “clitoral or vaginal” orgasm debate.
Accepting there is still research to be done here to fully understand the phenomenon of female ejaculation, gushing or squirting, women who can ejaculate during orgasm, or even release a little Amrita, are demonstrating something more profound about female sexuality. They reveal its power, its magnificence, and in some sense its equality to the male orgasm – at least as judged by ejaculation.
IS FEMALE EJACULATION REAL?
What’s It Like For Women Who Squirt?
If you want to make a woman squirt, listen to what women have to say!
Women who have vaginal orgasms produced by G spot stimulation say that these orgasms have a different quality to clitoral orgasms. They appear to spread more through the body. They are more emotional in nature. They depend more on establishing intimate sexual connection with a sexual partner before intercourse begins.
What are we to make of all this, especially if want to make a woman squirt?
Scientific research shows very clearly that the G spot exists, and that stimulation of it with a finger can lead to female ejaculation. For any man wanting to know how to make a girl squirt, that has to be good news.
After all, very few men are capable of prolonged penile stimulation of the vagina during intercourse. Most come quickly, thereby depriving women of orgasm through G spot stimulation during intercourse.
Knowing how to make a girl squirt, knowing how to make a woman come, can be highly arousing for men and women alike. And fingering is the most reliable way to make a woman orgasm, if not the most emotionally intimate. But to make a woman squirt, fingering has to be combined with G spot stimulation.
But, alas, it seems that the urge to enter, thrust and ejaculate quickly is instinctual in men. This is a shame for both men and women, when more intense sexual pleasure – via stimulation of the G spot – is available for the taking.
The truth is that women can orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation, in other words from vaginal stimulation of the G spot. It’s not as easy a route to orgasm as clitoral stimulation, and it’s a different experience for the woman. However, Betty Dodson has made the point that even though vaginal orgasms take longer, they do have the added dimension of emotional connection.
This is very significant, both emotionally and psychologically, for any woman.
But Does Female Ejaculation Really Exist?
Good question. So, if you want to make a woman squirt, let’s start with some of the basics: just what exactly is female ejaculation?
At the simplest level, female ejaculation is a natural and beautiful experience, although perhaps a somewhat mysterious one for the majority of people who haven’t experienced it. But it’s actually a natural sexual response for the feminine body.
Exploration of the G spot and female ejaculation – otherwise known as squirting – started in the 1980s. It’s extraordinary that explorations of female sexual anatomy and female ejaculation should have been so late in coming (no pun intended!). But there were several groundbreaking studies in the 1980s which explored female sexual anatomy, and its connection to female ejaculation. This was ground-breaking work for men who wanted to know how to make a woman squirt.
The first study was conducted by Josephine Lowndes Sevely, who recorded details of the history of female ejaculation. Interestingly enough, she discovered that squirting has been known about, explored and discussed since the 17th century. Even the origin of female ejaculatory fluid (the female prostate) has been known about for quite some time.
In modern times, a study by the Federation For Feminist Women’s Healthcare Centers revealed that the structure of the clitoris is much larger than anybody has previously known. A large proportion of the clitoris is hidden inside the body.
Later, Perry and Whipple identified a particularly sensitive area on the upper wall of the vagina which they nicknamed the G spot (after German researcher Ernst Grafenberg). They discovered that this spot appears to be responsible for producing a particular type of orgasm. This is different to the clitoral orgasm, not least because it can stimulate female ejaculation.
All of these studies seem to be conclusive in their support for the existence of the G spot. They also prove that there is indeed a distinction between fluid produced by the female prostatic tissue and urine. Even so, in recent times different researchers have begun to suggest that the G spot doesn’t even exist, and that female ejaculatory fluid is actually urine.
However, for me, one of the most compelling and conclusive pieces of evidence about the existence of female ejaculation is the fact that anyone who’s experienced it will know that the fluid expelled isn’t urine (female ejaculate tastes and smells quite different to urine).
We also know that stimulation of the G spot can produce an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Furthermore, when an orgasm is produced by a combination of clitoral and G spot stimulation, it combines the qualities of the clitoral orgasm and the vaginal orgasm.
So this really isn’t an act of faith: it’s an act of personal experience. The fact of the matter is that all women do ejaculate, but they may not be aware of it. Under certain conditions – especially during romantic, loving sex that extends over a long period of time, with close intimacy, and slow and gentle G spot stimulation – women may produce a trickle of fluid from the urethra which far exceeds the usual vaginal lubrication.
They may feel that they’ve urinated… but only because they don’t understand what this fluid is. Indeed, women can sometimes be so resistant to the idea of releasing fluid during sexual activity that they clampdown on the expulsion and emission of the fluid from the opening of the urethra and so it’s forced up into the bladder.
This may explain why some researchers maintain that female ejaculate is merely diluted urine. But Deborah Sundahl has spent a lot of time and energy educating women about the possibility of female ejaculation (and men in knowing how to make a woman squirt), and I am quite sure that she knows what she’s talking about!
So when she says that some women expel only small amounts of ejaculatory fluid because they are conditioned to clamp down on its release, I tend to believe her. It’s this response which makes women think they need to pee during sexual activity.
Dr Francisco Cabello has done a study which suggests that testing urine in the bladder for PSA (prostate specific antigen) demonstrates very clearly that women who do NOT ejaculate show more PSA in the urine after orgasm than before. This seems to indicate that a lot of women clampdown on their ejaculation, and the fluid is forced back into the bladder.
When a woman decides that she wants to ejaculate, she makes a conscious choice which gives her permission to be free to fully explore the capacity and ability of her female body to do what it was designed to do. And in doing so – in other words, by choosing to ejaculate – she will increase not only her own sexual pleasure, but the pleasure of her partner.
Female Ejaculation: How To Make A Woman Squirt!
Stimulating the G spot can make most women ejaculate – if it’s done in the right way. Shortly, we will look at the techniques which produce female ejaculation (or “squirting”). But first I think it’s important to understand just how much the idea of female ejaculation has been suppressed over the years. The same is true of the existence of the G spot.
In fact, in some quarters the idea of female ejaculation is being suppressed even now. In 2014, the British Board of Film Classification refused to certificate an educational video which contained a scene of genuine female ejaculation.
You can see a very succinct summary of the ignorance and historic thinking that goes into this decision here.
Slightly more surprising is the fact that lots of women suggest there isn’t a G spot. This is because when they put their fingers inside their vaginas, they can’t feel a sensitive area. Maybe they don’t even have any sexual response.
So there’s a lot of education and understanding needed here to put all of these facts into context.
It’s certainly true that a lot of women don’t feel anything when the G spot is stimulated. This is perhaps the biggest obstacle to making a woman or a girl squirt! There are many reasons for this.
First of all, for a long time women have been told that the G spot doesn’t actually exist. Culturally there’s a strong belief among women that their sexuality is somehow lacking because their orgasm frequency is lower than in men.
Secondly, women have been told that female ejaculation is a myth, that squirting is impossible, and that they are actually peeing. However, women who have been making themselves squirt for years (and men who know how to make a woman squirt) might contest the truth of these assertions!
Certainly if you’re told something is true by everybody in society, including the newspapers and other publications, you may well come to believe that is indeed the case.
Also many couples make love before the woman is psychologically or physically prepared for penetration. Often women are not sufficiently aroused.
And that matters, because G spot stimulation, and G spot responsiveness, requires a woman to open to sexual stimulation of this kind. In fact squirting requires gentle stimulation, and emotional connection, rather than hard physical stimulation.
Without G spot stimulation, female ejaculation or squirting is never going to happen. Some men try to find out how to make a girl squirt using techniques from porn. (Mostly, his involves hard and fast stimulation inside the vagina.) If you try this, you’ll discover pretty quickly that most women are massively turned off by this approach.
G spot massage, gentle strokes and slow touch, combined with emotional support, will arouse a woman. This is what lets her fully experience her sexual responsiveness and sensitivity. This is the basis of making a woman squirt during sexual arousal.
This seems pretty far out to the majority of people who have never done any kind of sexual healing work. But like so many aspect of the body, you understand it when you experience it.
Video – The Reality Of Squirting
In the West, female ejaculation and G spot stimulation has been culturally suppressed for generations. No wonder so few women know how to squirt!
But the truth is that many cultures and civilizations have known about female ejaculation for a very long time. In fact Regnier de Graaf dissected the female prostate glands in the 17th century. And the Hindu cultures of India which took sacred sexuality, the G spot, and female ejaculation and made them part of Tantric sexuality. The word Amrita– which refers to female ejaculate – is a very ancient word. Female ejaculation has a long history!
We in the West have been left with our conventional model of penetration and sexual interaction which was very patriarchally based. Sex has all been about men achieving pleasure by “squirting” into a woman! Never mind the possibility that a woman might enjoy an orgasm, and even female ejaculate or squirt, from time to time.
So take a step back, and for a moment consider the fact that the G spot is made up of prostatic tissue.
It’s also highly sensitive, so that it can store sexual trauma. There’s a parallel for that in the way that the body can store traumatic experiences in the muscle cells.
The interesting thing is that G spot massage can release such tension and the emotion which goes with it. This restores the tissue to a state of sensitivity. And it is what really makes a woman able to squirt.
To increase the possibility of female ejaculation, sexual interaction has to be slowed right down. To make a girl squirt during orgasm, the erotic both partners receive needs to be intense.
This can be done by using techniques to generate intimacy and connection. These include eye gazing and physical intimacy. These are techniques which need to be underpinned by an intention to connect. A couple needs to generate intimacy, and make intercourse last as long as possible.
There are many other aspects to squirting which are very important as well. The existence of the patriarchy (see more on this here) has hindered the development of female sexuality. Indeed, male researchers have told women that the G spot “doesn’t exist” and that the vagina has “no anatomical relationship with the clitoris”.
MAKING SENSE OF THE MYSTERY OF SQUIRTING
The Mystery Of Squirting
As you may well know if you have read anything at all about female ejaculation, Dr Ernst Gräfenberg is commonly credited with the discovery of female ejaculation.
(That’s despite the fact that there are fourth century Taoist texts written for men who wanted to satisfy women in bed which clearly refer to female ejaculation.)
But no matter! Our purpose here is to consider the evidence about the make up of female ejaculatory fluid. That perennial question which just doesn’t go away – is it pee or is it some mysterious feminine Amrita?
Gräfenberg was the first scientist to examine female ejaculate. He reported that it had no characteristics of urine. What he observed was a clear fluid being emitted in gushes from the urethra.
And you can certainly see this kind of thing everywhere on the Internet. But it’s inconceivable that this fluid is the product of the female prostatic tissue. (That’s what’s in the Skene’s glands, which are made up of tissue similar to male prostate gland tissue. They surround the urethra in women.)
These glands produce only a teaspoonful of fluid.
This is nowhere near enough to account for what we see in gushing.
So What is Gushing?
Gushing occurs when the G spot in the vagina is stimulated with the hard and fast movements of a man’s finger (or a woman’s own finger).
The relevant science for this particular phenomenon – I mean gushing – seems to come from a study conducted in France.
Start from the obvious fact that you could not contain a glassful of water – which is the kind of quantity that women squirt or gush – in the prostatic tissue around the urethra. There is no evidence whatsoever of such volumes of fluid being stored here.
And then the study conducted by Samuel Salama and his colleagues in France seems to prove that squirting is really the involuntary release of fluid from the bladder.
He studied seven women who claimed to be able to squirt as much as a glass of water during orgasm. They provided a urine sample, emptied their bladders, and then underwent an ultrasound to confirm that in fact they were pee-free.
Then, either alone or with a partner to help them, they enjoyed sexual stimulation until they were beginning to get sexually aroused. At this point a second ultrasound scan of their bladder was taken. After that, the woman continued stimulation until they squirted. Another ultrasound followed.
Unsurprisingly, the first ultrasound showed 7 empty bladders, the second one (in the middle of arousal) showed that there was “significant bladder filling”, and the final ultrasound (after squirting) showed that the women’s bladders were again empty.
So whatever is happening here does indeed seem to be about the expulsion of fluid from the bladder. But the interesting thing is that this fluid is always described as being different to urine. No-one ever suggests it smells or tastes like urine.
Now perhaps there is some mechanism which means that a woman’s bladder fills up more quickly during sexual stimulation. As far as I know, nobody’s done any research on that idea.
One important point is that this fluid, even in the large quantities these women “ejaculated” or “squirted” or “gushed” (as you prefer) did contain prostate specific antigen or PSA.
But then you would expect some PSA because the liquid would naturally pass the Skene’s glands when it passed down the urethra.
So it would seem that at least in some cases what women are referring to as “female ejaculation” is the involuntary ejaculation of some sort of fluid from the bladder which may or may not resemble urine.
And when you look at the level of stimulation necessary to produce this “gushing” phenomenon, you realize that it’s very hard and fast stimulation indeed.
It seems to me quite likely that the stimulation in fact is so hard that it has the potential to trigger some kind of involuntary ejaculation of fluid from the bladder.
Is that likely? Well, women often report a feeling of needing to pee when they first experience G spot stimulation.
So in fact, this explanation seems so obvious to me that I’d go so far as to say I think it’s most likely true.
But the interesting thing is that when you look at women who receive this level of stimulation, the intensity of their orgasm is much increased and it looks like a very powerful experience.
Perhaps this is because nerves to the clitoris and maybe even the uterus are stimulated at the same time as the nerves to the bladder?
While that remains speculative, we do know that there is a genuine form of female ejaculation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m only using the word “genuine” in the sense that it is the ejaculation of fluid from the Skene’s glands.
This fluid is a creamy or milky white liquid and is a much smaller volume of fluid emitted due to manual manipulation and pressure on the G spot.
But! It’s important to remember that no matter what form female ejaculation takes, the reason for achieving this outcome is to make women feel more intense or more satisfying orgasms.
This isn’t about a female sexual trick simply employed to thrill a man. At least, I’d hope not.
Summary
A small amount of creamy white fluid which some women ejaculate from the urethra when they reach orgasm is what we should technically be calling female ejaculate.
And when women wet the bed with copious amounts of clear fluid, we have to assume that that is coming from the bladder. That’s because the study described above is convincing evidence that squirting or gushing is actually bladder related.
The small amount of creamy milky white fluid comes from Skene’s glands which drain into the urethra. No surprise, then, that large amounts of fluid expelled in gushing or squirting will pick up some PSA.
Beverly Whipple, a neurophysiologist who was involved in the discovery of the G spot, seems to prefer the term “female ejaculation” to refer only to the production of this small amount of white creamy fluid at orgasm.
And again, to emphasize the point – it doesn’t matter. What really matters is how woman feels when she’s enjoying her experience.
Keep in mind is that when a woman thinks she might be about to urinate, she’s quite likely to clamp down the muscles which prevent that happening.
That could direct female ejaculate back into the bladder.
The significance of this? Maybe all women ejaculate, but only some feel liberated enough to allow the fluid to squirt out wherever it wants to go.
And when all’s said and done, involuntary urination as a result of intense stimulation of the G spot may be just as exciting as the emission of fluid from the Skene’s glands. Surely at the end of the day, what matters most is sexual pleasure?
WHAT FEMALE EJACULATION CAN DO FOR YOU!
To put it bluntly, squirting can keep your relationship exciting.
And it can keep your love and connection vibrant and thrilling.
So assuming that the woman in the relationship has mastered the art of female ejaculation, hows it going to play out in the everyday sex life of a couple?
Well, if a woman’s partner understands how her G spot works, loves to stimulate her, and loves the sight and experience of female ejaculation, you can pretty much guarantee sex is going to be a lot more exciting and passionate.
If you’re interested in the kind of experience that G spot stimulation on female ejaculation during lovemaking can provide, there’s a great story at the start of chapter 9 of Female Ejaculation and the G Spot by Deborah Sundahl.
That description’s as arousing as watching tasteful and romantic erotica.
Because when a couple are making love in a way that engages the woman’s G spot and associated nervous system, she’s going to be far more open from her heart.
If the man is ready to enter her – both physically, with his penis, and emotionally to penetrate her heart – then sparks can fly in the union of souls and that is the best kind of lovemaking can take place.
This isn’t just about exciting and passionate physicality. It’s about exciting and passionate sex combined with a union of souls. It’s what people mean when they talk about spiritual sex.
And how healing it can be!
Squirting and Healing
When the universal energy of love flows freely through a couple, healing naturally takes place. Indeed, I’d argue that all spiritual healing is about the flow of love.
Be that as it may, if you want to experience the nature of true spiritual connection with your beloved, this is the way you need to go.
Tantric Sex and Female Ejaculation
There’s recently been a massive increase in interest in Tantra and Tantric sex. In fact, the word Tantra is now almost a code for the concept of sacred sexuality. (Wikipedia link.)
Introduced into the West by Margot Anand and Charles and Caroline Muir, Tantric sex has become the vehicle of choice for sophisticated couples who want to increase their physical connection, their intimacy skills, and perhaps even their emotional communication. This is the route to sacred sex.
Sacred sex basically just means taking sex to the level of a ceremony, a sacred process whereby sex becomes something greater, allowing you the possibility of feeling a connection to the divine within yourself, as well as the flow of sexual energy between you and your partner.
A few devotees of Tantra seek to give the impression that it’s difficult or requires some mystical knowledge. But it doesn’t!
Indeed, Tantra’s something that people can learn with ease, and the improvement in quality of their relationship is remarkable.
If you want to explore the wisdom of Tantra – and it’s a journey well worth embarking on – there’s a huge area of exploration and excitement open to you.
Tantra will allow you to experience a deeper connection to yourself as well as a deeper connection to your partner. You’ll be able to feel the flow of sexual energy, and connect heart and genitals with love.
Indeed, for those of us who were wounded in our ability to love by rejection or abandonment as children, the healing that comes through sexual energy manifesting during Tantric sex can be phenomenal.
Emotional Connection, Not Just Physical
Some people say that Western sex is too methodical or technical – there’s an obsession with sexual positions, with delaying ejaculation, with ejaculation control, and with performance.
All of that leaves little room for the individual, reducing both men and women alike to sexual performers who are required to achieve a certain standard for the satisfaction of their partner.
Where is the love in this?
And there’s another truth that lies behind the value of sacred sex: healing the loneliness and abandonment that many of us feel deep down.
We all feel, if we care to explore our emotional wounds, the immature yearning for connection with a beloved which comes from our needs not being met as children.
And for women, for whom sex is the passport to the deepest aspects of their femininity, Tantric sex, accessed through the G spot, can represent the hope of fulfillment of their deepest desires within relationship.
So while we know that female ejaculation is a reality, that it’s natural and normal, and that the underlying structures including the female prostate have been identified as real and functional, some people continue to deny its existence.
Perhaps they are the people who live in fear of sexual fulfillment, or fear of connection at a deeper level with another human being.
Be that as it may, the truth is simple: female ejaculation squirting can be learned, and all women have the capacity to ejaculate.
Ejaculation can be controlled (by both men and women, in different ways), although the majority of women inhibit ejaculation by clamping down their muscles so that the fluid they would otherwise release during intercourse moves backwards up into the bladder.
By adopting the simple intention to expel the fluid from the body, and releasing the inhibitions which might restrict a woman’s ability to ejaculate, female ejaculation can become a reality for any woman who cares to try it.
The G Spot Is The Key To A Woman Squirting
If you want to know how to make a woman squirt, you need to get into her vagina and gently explore her G spot, which can vary between women.
The G spot tends to have a particular shape, but it’s usually located close to the opening of the vagina, and it surrounds the urethra.
Stimulation of the G spot, together with stimulation of the urethral opening, and perhaps also the clitoris, can drive women wild with sexual arousal and produce a massive orgasm.
But this is a G spot orgasm, which is deeper, more profound, and more intense than a clitoral orgasm.
The exact techniques of G spot stimulation are something which each couple needs to explore for themselves, so they can find the method of stimulation that’s most exciting for a particular woman.
As you become more experienced in doing this, you’ll feel the G spot swelling as a woman becomes more aroused.
Indeed, it changes texture and becomes smooth and engorged with ejaculatory fluid.
And because the G spot is innervated with a different set of nerves to the clitoris – in fact it supplied by the pelvic nerves rather than the pudendal nerve – it produces a different kind of orgasm to clitoral stimulation.
Women need to understand how exciting it is for a man to see his woman ejaculate.
This is important for a woman who wants to ejaculate – if a partner is not supportive, a woman is not likely to have success in squirting.
Knowing how to squirt, for a woman, and knowing how to make a woman squirt, for a man, are key to an exciting sex life, but they are also the key to the exciting world of G spot orgasms. (Because only G spot massage can produce squirting and a G spot orgasm.)
But in addition, of course, sexual energy can become blocked in the G spot, and the G spot massage will release these blockages.
Any negative sexual experience can numb the G spot and cause it to be painful, and this may prevent female ejaculation from taking place.
But a carefully and gently executed G spot massage from a loving partner (who is ready to deal with any emotions that come up when a woman is stimulated in this area) can produce much emotional healing and personal development for a woman.
And after sexual healing of this kind, a woman may be able to move gracefully into her deeper femininity and explore those aspects of herself which are revealed in the world beyond squirting amrita.
SQUIRTING – ADVICE FOR MEN
MEN: MAKING YOUR GIRL SQUIRT
It’s no wonder that most men find female ejaculation so intriguing – it’s arousing, sexual, and very, very thrilling to be a part of the sexual excitement that leads a woman to ejaculate.
Indeed, many men will tell you that their greatest desire is for their partner to “female ejaculate” – many will tell you that it’s the hottest thing they’ve ever experienced.
There are different reasons for this: some are excited by the fact that their partner is really letting go, taking it as a sign of trust and intimacy. Others are just excited by the glorious evidence of how aroused their partner is – as you may know, nothing excites a man sexually more than a highly aroused woman.
Others will tell you that female ejaculation depends on trust, and that it’s a gift because it communicates the love of a woman for her partner.
Others will simply not be able to explain why the idea of a woman gushing or squirting is so exciting. But they know it is!
And in the end, of course, it doesn’t matter. Men like sexual arousal and sexual expression; and there’s nothing more arousing and powerfully sexual than a woman ejaculating.
Video – The G Spot
Your Girl May See Squirting Differently!
Interestingly enough, it’s not always the same for the women who are ejaculating, or learning to do so.
Indeed it’s probably true to say that most men find it easier to accept, like, and even adore the idea of female ejaculation than most women.
And, provided that a man isn’t trying to pressurize his partner into learning the art of female ejaculation, his excitement and arousal can be really important in supporting his woman when she’s first learning how to squirt or gush.
Trouble is, of course, men are geared up to be fixers and problem solvers, so when a woman talks of her desire to learn how to ejaculate, it’s quite possible that her man’s first reaction might be to start researching techniques, workshops, and explaining ways in which she can achieve this highly desirable skill!
And this probably isn’t going to be a great approach for most women, who probably want to get used to the idea in their own time and experiment with the art of gushing or squirting at a pace that suits them.
So here’s a bit of advice for a man who wants to help his partner ejaculate successfully.
First of all, be open to the possibility that your partner wants to learn to ejaculate on her own. She may feel inhibited trying this new skill out in the presence of somebody else – and if she is insistent that she does it on her own, then be open to that idea. After all, you’ll get the benefit of her experience sooner or later….
And then of course it’s equally possible that a woman is going to insist that you take part in her explorations of female ejaculation right from the start. And certainly as a man you can have a major role in making a girl squirt, or showing her how to squirt.
You are, however, going to be more effective in this role if you learn some simple things before you start: like G spot anatomy, and how to stimulate her G spot being high on the list!
In addition, it’s going to be great if you encourage her to speak her mind, telling you what she likes and what she dislikes, ensuring that she is assertive about what she wants, and not tolerating anything which is emotionally or physically uncomfortable for her…. or indeed not just accepting anything that you offer without considering her own needs and wishes.
And finally, you are going to have to drop the idea of an outcome.
You need a sense of humor here, and you certainly need to abandon your male tendency to want a particular outcome. Female ejaculation, gushing, squirting – call it what you will – is not a project!
So keep in mind that for most women, female ejaculation and G spot stimulation are going to be less of a goal than they are for you, and more a part of the overall process of making love.
If you’re particularly goal oriented, then you’re going to have to drop your urge to rush through the process of learning female ejaculation and accept that you need to let go of your desire to control.
As you may have noticed, women need time to think about these things, time to discuss them, and time to explore all possibilities and avenues open to them before they finally make a decision.
According to Deborah Sundahl, a woman’s best chance of learning female ejaculation is to do her first exploration on her own. But, because women like to involve their partners in such intimate activities around sexuality, you need be part of the process right from the start…..
So be sensitive to a woman’s desire to have a conversation about the subject. She might signal you that she wants to talk by offering comments such as “I’ve been hearing about female ejaculation recently.”
You can take such comments as a sign that she wants to discuss it with you, perhaps wants to know what you feel and think about it, and how you might feel about her trying to ejaculate.
Since you’re probably going to be delighted, that isn’t too much of a problem.
Video: Female Ejaculation And The G Spot
But You Have A Problem In Making A Girl Squirt
You’re not a woman and you don’t know about female anatomy. And you don’t know what the experience of being a woman is like. Hmmmm……
So you’re going to have to use your imagination to a great extent here to feel your way sensitively and kindly so that you can actually offer useful support.
Equally, you need to be able to help a woman understand that she might be better not doing this without preparation. She needs some basic information about the structure of her G spot, the emotional wounding it can hold, obstacles towards gushing or squirting, and she certainly needs to understand the necessity of dealing with deep-seated sexual issues such as sexual abuse, assault, or unwanted acts of intercourse if she is to have full G spot sensitivity.
The best way to deal with these things is to give her a good resource and let her read and consider the issues involved for herself. One that comes highly recommended is a book by Deborah Sundahl called Female Ejaculation and the G Spot,although there are also plenty of resources available online.
Even so, at the end of the day you’re in a partnership, and being a man, you’re probably very keen to please her and help her learn how to gush or squirt.
But that’s not enough. You need to know more.
- You need to know, for example, the structure of the G spot, and where it is.
- You need to know about the necessity of getting her sufficiently aroused to find touch on her G spot pleasurable.
- You need to know how to stimulate her G spot.
- You need to know how stimulating her G spot can release sexual trauma and emotional memories that are nothing to do with the present time, but entirely to do with your partner’s historical experience.
- Because there are so many different ways of stimulating the G spot, you might want to go and do a little bit of research for yourself before you get into the bedroom, no matter how good your intentions might be.
- So let’s assume, for the sake of your “mission” to make a girl squirt, that you’ve looked up some information about G spot anatomy, you know where it is, and you’ve also researched the right stimulation techniques. Now you’re using them.
But suppose that your partner says she doesn’t feel anything.
That’s really quite likely, especially if a woman has never discovered where her G spot is, and has never ejaculated.
Yet it’s also a fact that if you’re rubbing the upper wall of her vagina from 1 to 3 inches inside, then you are rubbing her G spot.
What does it mean, therefore, if she says she feels nothing?
The answer to that question depends on the cause of this numbness.
You can easily feel the G spot if it’s there: it feels like a ridged band of tissue before she’s sexually aroused, and with increasing arousal it begins to feel soft and swollen, perhaps with a series of raised areas as though there were little bubbles inside the G spot and your finger was rubbing over their surface.
And if your partner still says that she feels nothing, despite your stimulation of her G spot, then what’s required is a sensitive re-awakening of her G spot.
Remember it can numb out due to sexual trauma early in life; the impact of such trauma appears to be stored in the tissues of the pelvic area in general and the G spot in particular.
But, happily, the right kind of stimulation will enable her to release this emotional trauma and begin to restore sensitivity to her G spot.
Another possibility, oddly enough, is that she’s just not really aroused – in which case more clitoral stimulation, particularly oral stimulation, may well get to the point where a finger on her G spot will indeed allow her to feel some inklings of sexual pleasure.
Certainly, once you’ve found her G spot, and once you’ve noticed it becoming swollen, you stand a chance of making your girl squirt.
Bear in mind that ejaculation doesn’t depend on her having an orgasm.
In fact, if sexual stimulation has resulted in fluid accumulation within the G spot, then it’s possible that you can effectively use your fingers to apply a “milking” motion from the far end of the G spot towards you along its body.
But you can’t do this unless a woman who is interested in ejaculating and knows what she’s doing: her fluid (also known as “amrita”) will not be expelled unless she physically pushes and mentally opens up to the idea of expulsion.
Without her cooperation, the fluid will not be expelled. (One of the reasons for this is because a lot of women fear that they are simply urinating when liquid squirts out of the urethra during G pot stimulation.)
They therefore clamp their muscles down to stop it happening, and the female ejaculate is actually discharged upwards into the bladder. That is why so much confusion has arisen about the nature of the fluid that is expelled during female ejaculation.
The myth that it’s urine seems to have come from the fact that this retrograde ejaculation into the bladder propels the “markers” for female ejaculatory fluid – which happen to be prostate specific antigens – up into the bladder.
So those are the basics – and on another page of this site we will look at the techniques that actually can assist female ejaculation. (For the debate about the reality of the G spot, click here.)